Waiting

16 July 2015

Thursday

To make your arms, my home

And the hollow of your neck, my haven

To feel your breath on my forehead,

While my head rests on your shoulder

To inhale the scent that’s unique to you

To feel you in my lungs and breathe you

To kiss you deep and be kissed right back,

With a passion that’s devoid of dignity or grace

To bite you and dig my nails into you,

As your tongue traces me neck down

To writhe under your body

And burn with the desperate desire

of being touched by you,

To feel that fire and be doused in it

Honey ! I am waiting, for you to be home.

I find you

25 July 2015, Sunday

I find you

AM I looking for you everywhere?

AM I searching for you in everything?

For baby, I find you.

I find you..

In everything I see,

In everything I hear,

In everything I feel…

In the pause of a song, in the tune I was humming along

In a phrase, and in a stranger’s gaze,

I find you

In the sound of rain, in pleasure and in pain,

In the smile of a friend, and at the alley’s end,

I find you

In the fragrance of flowers, in the chill of light showers,

In the smell of Petrichor*, and that lame metaphor,

I find you

In the green of leaves, in the sway of trees,

In words and in deeds

I find you.

In the wind that touched my face,

In the fire that sets me ablaze,

I find you.

In rivers and in woods,

In the swing of my many moods,

I find you.

Baby, I find you,

In everything I see, hear and feel.

(PS: Smell of Petrichor is wrong usage, since Petrichor means smell that accompanies the first rain after a long period of warm, dry weather. Please do forgive me for the wrong usage and call it poetic license. Thank you)

Kissing her Demons

(For a long time, I had wanted to write down the stories that my mind conjures. Usually dark, bordering on bipolar. I have never written fiction and given the lack of confidence in my writing skills, I had thought that I would never. Then oneframestories.com happened, all thanks to Jaykay and I felt that, may be, I could try at short fictions. Then one day this happened. Around 4 months back, one random night, and I typed this in my mobile. Posting it now. 

Wondering why all this "INTRODUCTION"? To cut a long story short, it's an appeal. I am not a writer so please be warned before you subject yourself to this torture *wink wink*) 

Kissing her Demons

Mind wanders and the memory of a night

sneaks it's way through the maze of your mind.

You remember how he held your hands and pulled you towards him. 

You had anticipated this all along but you pretend to be surprised.

You let him think you didn't know this was coming. 

You part your lips. 

As if it were an absent minded and natural reaction to proximity..

But you know it is not. 

It was a calculated and deliberate move to make him move forward. 

You watch his lips. Now dry with wanting. Tempted

He leans and kisses you. You kiss him back. 

He takes your name. You just let out a sigh. 

Kissing gets passionate. More nibbles and bites.

BUT ..

You are not there. You are re-living a memory. 

A memory of someone with similar lips, assaulting yours. 

You think of how disgusted you had felt then.

You wanted to erase that memory. 

So you are creating a new one. ..

With someone who looks similar and has same kind of lips. Thin. And no flesh.

You kiss back with all the passion you are capable of. 

He thinks it's his victory. His victory to make someone so elusive to respond so achingly. 

Poor him...

He doesn't know that you are kissing a demon. 

You are kissing a demon that has haunted you for years..

to make that demon love you and not haunt you 

He just happened to look very similar. That is all. 

The haunting memory is now flushed. You feel victorious.

Then you just kiss out of happiness, because he says he loves it.

#Fiction 

Left unsaid

It had been a long wait

I had been waiting for an eternity for him to come

And then he came

The love we had, the love we felt, was all encompassing

It was so intense that it almost suffocated,

Yet, so pure that it liberated

I wanted to tell him about all those little things I had fantasised about;

I wanted him to know how I felt about those small gestures..

I wanted him to know of all of these things that I had dreamt of,

That I had wanted, for me, for him, for us;

I wanted him to learn of all of it gradually, one at a time

I wanted him to feel each one of those yearnings,

Know it, understand it, feel it and absorb it,

So it became a part of him, as it was a part of me.

I wanted him to know all of this, one at a time.

I wanted to tell him how I had loved the feel of his fingers in my hair,

Even before our paths had crossed

I wanted him to know how I wanted to make his arms my home,

I wanted him to feel how I craved for the warmth of his breath on my neck

I wanted him to realise that the sound of my name on his lips was music to me

I wanted him to see how it burned me to have his lips on mine

I wanted him to feel how I so wanted to burn

I wished for him to know that the only way I wanted to wake up,

was to his sound, smell and taste, and next to him.

I needed him to know that, when we were with friends,

or in a crowd, I loved how our eyes would meet and smile,

I wanted him to know how I loved that we spoke so much through silence,

His arms on my shoulders, his hands holding mine,

A peck on the cheek, our palms entwined,

That kiss on the forehead before goodnight  ,

that curve of a smile in the morning, before kissing me tight

how his eyes twinkled, seeing me just out of bed

how he’d hug me, even before a tear was shed

I wanted him to know how I had waited for all these things for years

I wanted him to know how I loved these things so much that it hurt

I wanted to tell him all this,

I wanted him to know all this,

I wanted him to feel all of this, one at a time

But before I could tell, before he could know,

He had left.

I still have all these things unsaid, at times making it hard to breathe

At times making me want to slash a wrist

Making me want to let the blood flow

To inflict pain physically

To let the hurt go

Now he is gone and all those things I wanted, have turned morose