Review of Baaz by Anuja Chahuhan

My Review of #Baaz by#AnujaChauhan

Heads up: Spoilers

I wasn’t sure if the book will keep me hooked, because I feared it will have too much of War and Flighter jet jargon, that I, as a laymen would not be able to comprehend. However, Ms. Chauhan’s narration kept me hooked and how! It kept me up for 2 nights and I also had to spend a restless day. The narration is the Hero of the book.

Two strikingly different people from two different worlds, with different ideologies, chance upon each other. Tinka, the well educated, upper class girl who hails from a celebrated army family, (in)famous for a swimsuit advert and a pacifist by nature, finds love and acceptance where it was least expected; a Haryanvi Jat village boy from Chakkahera with a penchant for adventure and an eye for glory- our Hero, BAAZ. One of the defining moments for me was when Ishaan Faujdaar tells Tehmina Dadyseth that she shouldn’t be ashamed of her ad & that she did nothing wrong. But with their ideologies, it is not your regular love story. And Tehmina Dadyseth is not your regular, “I am here to support the Hero” kind of lead. She has her own story and the narrative of her convictions and conflicts are slick.

Apart from the gripping narration, Ms. Chahuhan’s BAAZ also stands out because, each of her characters are well defined and build the story. They are part of the narrative and not present merely to glorify the lead characters. Each of them individually, has their own story too. The characters are also more real and believable. Juhi and Sneha, for example. Juhi though very fond of Maddy & Baaz, wishes that they find someone good for themselves, but not better than her. Sneha, though admits to liking Tinka, disapproves of her brother’s love for Tinka. The narrative of how Tinka, who hates everything about War, influences the thinking of Baaz, who is a nationalist, is very subtle, natural and not at all forced.

Only one thing let me down and that was how it ends. I personally felt flabbergasted that I was up for 2 nights “for this!” That is how I felt. I personally know many who applaud the ending and feel that Baaz could not have ended better. I for one, would have preferred “another” miracle.

This definitely does not feel like it was written by the same author who wrote “Those pricey Thakur Girls”. Nonetheless, I recommend this for its narration.

Waiting

16 July 2015

Thursday

To make your arms, my home

And the hollow of your neck, my haven

To feel your breath on my forehead,

While my head rests on your shoulder

To inhale the scent that’s unique to you

To feel you in my lungs and breathe you

To kiss you deep and be kissed right back,

With a passion that’s devoid of dignity or grace

To bite you and dig my nails into you,

As your tongue traces me neck down

To writhe under your body

And burn with the desperate desire

of being touched by you,

To feel that fire and be doused in it

Honey ! I am waiting, for you to be home.

I find you

25 July 2015, Sunday

I find you

AM I looking for you everywhere?

AM I searching for you in everything?

For baby, I find you.

I find you..

In everything I see,

In everything I hear,

In everything I feel…

In the pause of a song, in the tune I was humming along

In a phrase, and in a stranger’s gaze,

I find you

In the sound of rain, in pleasure and in pain,

In the smile of a friend, and at the alley’s end,

I find you

In the fragrance of flowers, in the chill of light showers,

In the smell of Petrichor*, and that lame metaphor,

I find you

In the green of leaves, in the sway of trees,

In words and in deeds

I find you.

In the wind that touched my face,

In the fire that sets me ablaze,

I find you.

In rivers and in woods,

In the swing of my many moods,

I find you.

Baby, I find you,

In everything I see, hear and feel.

(PS: Smell of Petrichor is wrong usage, since Petrichor means smell that accompanies the first rain after a long period of warm, dry weather. Please do forgive me for the wrong usage and call it poetic license. Thank you)

Kissing her Demons

(For a long time, I had wanted to write down the stories that my mind conjures. Usually dark, bordering on bipolar. I have never written fiction and given the lack of confidence in my writing skills, I had thought that I would never. Then oneframestories.com happened, all thanks to Jaykay and I felt that, may be, I could try at short fictions. Then one day this happened. Around 4 months back, one random night, and I typed this in my mobile. Posting it now. 

Wondering why all this "INTRODUCTION"? To cut a long story short, it's an appeal. I am not a writer so please be warned before you subject yourself to this torture *wink wink*) 

Kissing her Demons

Mind wanders and the memory of a night

sneaks it's way through the maze of your mind.

You remember how he held your hands and pulled you towards him. 

You had anticipated this all along but you pretend to be surprised.

You let him think you didn't know this was coming. 

You part your lips. 

As if it were an absent minded and natural reaction to proximity..

But you know it is not. 

It was a calculated and deliberate move to make him move forward. 

You watch his lips. Now dry with wanting. Tempted

He leans and kisses you. You kiss him back. 

He takes your name. You just let out a sigh. 

Kissing gets passionate. More nibbles and bites.

BUT ..

You are not there. You are re-living a memory. 

A memory of someone with similar lips, assaulting yours. 

You think of how disgusted you had felt then.

You wanted to erase that memory. 

So you are creating a new one. ..

With someone who looks similar and has same kind of lips. Thin. And no flesh.

You kiss back with all the passion you are capable of. 

He thinks it's his victory. His victory to make someone so elusive to respond so achingly. 

Poor him...

He doesn't know that you are kissing a demon. 

You are kissing a demon that has haunted you for years..

to make that demon love you and not haunt you 

He just happened to look very similar. That is all. 

The haunting memory is now flushed. You feel victorious.

Then you just kiss out of happiness, because he says he loves it.

#Fiction 

Left unsaid

It had been a long wait

I had been waiting for an eternity for him to come

And then he came

The love we had, the love we felt, was all encompassing

It was so intense that it almost suffocated,

Yet, so pure that it liberated

I wanted to tell him about all those little things I had fantasised about;

I wanted him to know how I felt about those small gestures..

I wanted him to know of all of these things that I had dreamt of,

That I had wanted, for me, for him, for us;

I wanted him to learn of all of it gradually, one at a time

I wanted him to feel each one of those yearnings,

Know it, understand it, feel it and absorb it,

So it became a part of him, as it was a part of me.

I wanted him to know all of this, one at a time.

I wanted to tell him how I had loved the feel of his fingers in my hair,

Even before our paths had crossed

I wanted him to know how I wanted to make his arms my home,

I wanted him to feel how I craved for the warmth of his breath on my neck

I wanted him to realise that the sound of my name on his lips was music to me

I wanted him to see how it burned me to have his lips on mine

I wanted him to feel how I so wanted to burn

I wished for him to know that the only way I wanted to wake up,

was to his sound, smell and taste, and next to him.

I needed him to know that, when we were with friends,

or in a crowd, I loved how our eyes would meet and smile,

I wanted him to know how I loved that we spoke so much through silence,

His arms on my shoulders, his hands holding mine,

A peck on the cheek, our palms entwined,

That kiss on the forehead before goodnight  ,

that curve of a smile in the morning, before kissing me tight

how his eyes twinkled, seeing me just out of bed

how he’d hug me, even before a tear was shed

I wanted him to know how I had waited for all these things for years

I wanted him to know how I loved these things so much that it hurt

I wanted to tell him all this,

I wanted him to know all this,

I wanted him to feel all of this, one at a time

But before I could tell, before he could know,

He had left.

I still have all these things unsaid, at times making it hard to breathe

At times making me want to slash a wrist

Making me want to let the blood flow

To inflict pain physically

To let the hurt go

Now he is gone and all those things I wanted, have turned morose

Wait for me

I am at times loving, Caring and full of warmth
I am at times full of spite when those who I love are hurt
I cry thinking of the people I love and the trials they are facing
I laugh hard at a silly joke cos it was shared by someone I love
I dance dreaming thinking of someone dancing with me
I am happy knowing that someone I love is happy
I smile thinking of the happiness that has been blessed on people I love
I feel smouldered with love by way too many people around
And then suddenly I feel ALONE
Without rhyme or reason. . 
I feel lonely
I feel helpless when I cannot do anything to comfort someone
I feel like there's no purpose
I feel lost
I feel like I am living a lie
I get angry.. 
I won't know why
Then I suddenly miss my mother
I see a father talking to his daughterAnd I feel I was cheated by life
A 1000 small things around me remind me of my mother, 
I feel like killing them all
I remember someone who walked into my life and gave me love 
filled me with confidence & made me forget about what I missed 
so much so that it made me miss my parents a little lesser
Then it hits me that someone walked away. 
Leaving me alone. Cheating me. 
Hurting me for no fault of mine.
That moment, I sink. 
I turn insane. 
I become a different person.
At such times, please bear me. 
Please say you won't abandon me
Wait for me. 
Wait for me because I will come back to my senses 
and be the happy smiling girl you know.

The woman in me needs to cry so that she moves on 
and faces the world with her strong face on
The woman in me needs you to know her as she is.
Hurt, vulnerable yet strong and loving.

Wait for me.I will smile again
Wait for me.I will forget all this bitterness, again.

I forgot what I had to say

What is this obsession with people these days?

Everyone around you is so self obsessed. Screaming at the top of their voice, “I AM AWESOME”

Err, if you really were that awesome, you needn’t have to repeat it so often.

Then there is another bunch of people who are always self-deprecating. Yeah right, belittle yourself so it doesn’t hurt when others criticise you.

Oh wait, maybe I really should not be writing this. I often indulge in this obscene obsession, either calling myself “awesome” or cringing. (Hey, just so you know, when you guys think I am being self deprecating, honestly I am merely stating facts. I wouldn't put myself down if I thought any better of myself). But write, I shall.

(and just like that I lost my train of thought :/ What was it that I wanted to say?)